"So I had this dream..." In days of old that phrase would trigger an internal eye roll followed by mentally checking out as I was regaled  with noctural wanderings. Now, a little humbler and hopefully alot more informed, my ears prick when there is a reference to dreams, particularly currently with all of my clients, who without exception, are having the most vivid dreams, not all welcome. Myself included. So what does it all mean and what can I do with these night time messengers?

Theories on Dreams

There are as many theories about dreaming as there are dreams.  The subject saw the split between the two psychological monoliths, Jung and Freud. Freud rather typically saw night time quests as an insight into the repressed desires of the psyche, unexpressed during waking hours, roaring with sexual repression and maniacal egoic rampages. Jung took a slightly less animalistic view, seeing dreams as the whisperings of the subconscious seeking to share insights missed during the waking state, all as part of the journey towards individuation and the dawn of self actualisation.

Modern neuroscience takes an unsurprisingly altogether more clinical perspective. David Eagleman, the prolific writer on all things brain related, argues in his latest publication Liverwired (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Livewired-Inside-Story-Ever-Changing-Brain/dp/030790749X) that dreams are simply ways by which the visual cortex maintains neurological real estate during hours of darkness. Night time being a distinctive disadvantage for this part of the brain, since inactivity could see other brain regions cannabalise those neural networks for differing phsyiological purposes.

A middle way - psychotherapeutic perspective

There is a way to synergise all of these positions wilst gaining some practical guidance using personal discernment. Dreams can at their simplest be mental spring cleaning; the brain's way to sort, process and discard the billions of data points received throughout the course of the day. Hence, familiar scenarios arising that unfolded during our waking hours. However, what is worth drilling into are nightmares, night terrors or dreams (including positive ones), with intense emotions. Those have more import, particularly the characters present, actions we take and decisions we make. So let's start with the dark side first.

Nightmares, nocturnal blue lights

Any strong emotion that's aroused at night is often the way the body and mind processes the distresing in a more controlled medium. It would be borderline overwhelming to have frightening emotions pervade our working hours on top of the day to day. So the scary journeys at night facilitate that process. It is worth paying attention to what is experienced, physically and emotionally. Who is present? What significance are they in your life? How are you feeling? Anxious? Terrified? Frozen? Slowly unpicking a dream can liberate astonishing insights into aspects of the self that we may have chosen to ignore. James Hollis in his riveting book, Through the Dark Woods, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life (Through-Dark-Wood-Finding-Meaning/dp/1591796792) shares his ceaseless amazement at the messages in dreams his clients seemed unable to penetrate that were blindingly obvious to him, the proverbial woods for the trees. Examples included the revisiting of childhood moments, often forgetten until this visceral re-enactment. The episode of bulllying, the running from terrifying animals. What was particularly notable were recurring dreams, plaguing the incumbent with repeated nights of distress. However, we are not victim to our night visions, we can control the outcome, as lucid dreamers well know. One memorable dream I heard relayed, was an experience of being chased by hideous monsters. Each night, the dream would be the same, the dreamer racing through woodlands, hearing behind her the gnashings and noises of her deadly persuers. Eventually the dreamer was asked what the monsters looked like, to which the dreamer cocked her head quizzically, 'I don't know, I'm always running away from them." At that juncture a choice was created, namely to turn and face that which was chasing her. The following night, the dreamer again had her usual nightmare, except this time at the pivotal moment when she'd normally spring awake to escape, she paused and turned to face the monsters. Instead of pouncing on her and devouring her as expected, the monsters stopped in front of her and she was able to look at each one and see that each had a distinct emotional aspect which instead of frightening aroused immense compassion and then she woke up, never to have the dream again.

What other clues can be useful? Consider the individuals present? What I found revelatory was the learning that the presence of a key figure, eg. Father, ex-partner was less about them and more what they represent about ourselves. The psyche is breathtakingly ingenious in using familiar figures to speak to ourselves about parts of us we've neglected. When did we last feel like that? What does that person represent about ourselves that we deny, project or repress? Why?

The Outside-In effect

Dreams however are not immune to external influences. If our role or habits sees us relentlessly exposed to hardship, bad news, tragedy or sorrow this will have an effect cumulatively. It is staggeringly naive, if not down right irresponsible, to disregard a diet of horror and humiliation. These visuals, films, videos, gifs or tweets are all equisitly filed and remembered, each and every one leaving a distinct albeit imperceptible imprint on our psyche. Our Central Nervous System can consequently be soothed and balanced by this or stimulated and stressed by this barrage of bad news. There is a reason that subliminal advertising has been illegal in the UK at least since 1958. So what to do about that? If our job sees us exposed to the darker side of life, how do we nurture our psyche so we aren't afflicited with dreams of tension and apocalypse?

Walking the paradox - balancing our experience, using our focus

"Where your attention goes, your energy flows", is an old personal development adage,and as is the case with cliches, it's long lasting for a reason, there is truth there. The answer to managing our internal experience is balance, choice and discipline. Noone is victim to what they are subjected, unless they agree to that statement. Working in the Intelligence Community for a decade saw me exposed to some of the most savage ways humans can inflict harm on each other, and yet simultaneously I had the privilege of working in groups of some of the funniest and most able individuals I've ever had the pleasure to call team mates. It's why emergency responders have gallow humour and a dry joke is the best way to break tension. Those techniques are not flippancy, they are effective interventions to remind the self that life is good and bad, horror and happy, laughter and despair. It's the eternal paradox of being alive, taking our roles seriously, but never ourselves and isn't that worth dreaming about?